The Trunnell Memoirs

Trunnell Christmas at Home #1

2012-01-10T17:48:00.004-06:00

Christmas... I know, I know, it seems like a very long time ago.

After all the Christmas money has burned holes through our pockets and the Christmas decorations have been put away (kind of), I have yet to record a bit of our wonderful family Christmas. So here it goes...

This was our very first Christmas at home for Adam and I. We have never spend a Holiday together just with each other. We have many family members that are always expecting our presence so we find ourselves dividing our time between them. (In fact, our next two Christmas are already planned out.) We fixed up a big meal for dinner on Christmas Eve: game hens (gifted from some very sweet neighbors), sweet potatoes, cranberries, bread, salad, and Sparkling Cider of course! It was a big deal for us since we usually make one-pot meals. A dinner with meat and a few sides is considered very much legit around here. It was delicious!

That night I could hardly sleep. I just couldn't wait to wake up the next morning and see Adam and Murray's reactions to their gifts. Adam and I were acting like little kids and were completely giddy when we went to sleep. However, sleeping didn't last long. Murray was up at 6am and instead of putting him back to sleep like I would normally do, I let him get up and play. What to my surprising ears should I hear, when a Christmas song started playing in the living room. Adam apparently couldn't hold in his excitement any longer and that was our cue. It was 7am and we were ready to kick-off this special occasion.

We settled down on the floor in front of our tree and slowly unwrapped the gifts thoughtfully chosen and wrapped with care.

As every gift was unwrapped, it reminded how we really are a family. We really are shaping our traditions. All those little things I remember from my childhood, that my parents probably didn't plan out, are my memories. It is just so exciting that we are creating those with our little family. It is surprising and very surreal that our time to be parents and provide memories for our child is upon us! It was such a great morning.

The next week continued to be a Christmas EXTRAVAGANZA. That's what happens when: a. you have a new baby, b. you have divorced parents (only children of divorced parents will really understand the complicated beauty of multiple holidays), and c. you find every excuse to stretch Christmas as long as possible. It was a great end to a very satisfying year.

Pictures Lately

2012-01-03T21:33:00.005-06:00

A preview of our Holiday Season.

Christmas we very enjoyable here at the Trunnell home. For the first time in years, Adam and I found a new excitement for Christmas that we hadn't felt in a long time, and I am sure Murray had something to do with it. But most of it was from the fact that we got to spend Christmas at home. We had fun figuring out our own traditions. We were able to spend a lot of much needed time together- just the three of us (well Trudy too).

I realized that I hadn't spent a week at home since we moved into our house over 18 months ago. Actually, I take that back, I did spend a few weeks at home after Murray was born but those days were spent frantically trying to figuring out what the heck I was doing. So that time period is all a blur (a very sweet one of course because of that sweet baby who had just entered our home). On the contrary, this past week was filled with so much rest. I think I took a nap most days which was heaven for a (somewhat) new and working mother. AND it was so much fun spending all that time with Murray.

Did you know that Murray has finally slept through the night?! It took over 9 months, but we are so very proud of him. We are also equally proud of us that we were able to survive 9 months of going through life like zombies. Usually very grumpy zombies, to say the least. (PS This is a post about challenging times saved for another day, but for now, I am sill riding the wave of blissful sleep.) This is a pretty large victory for us!

I will post soon about our Christmas morning. It was perfect. We hope yours was too!

A Look to My Pregnant Past

2011-12-13T20:56:00.005-06:00

At this time last year, this was me. Can you imagine?! Honestly, I miss it. I miss being giant and pregnant. I miss always being warm. And mostly I miss having that baby right there always moving in front of me.

Unfortunately, now I don't get to carry that baby everywhere with me. This morning was one of the hardest mornings to go to work. Murray was screaming and crying "Momma" with his hands outstretched to me. Oh how I just wanted to hold that baby all day long. I drove away, beating myself up about how I'm not the mother I want to be and at the same time not the employee I want to be (as I arrived at work extremely late). All day long I just felt guilty for being away from him.

This isn't unusual. Most weeks I have a day where I have to pick myself up and recite a long pep talk to get moving again. I never imagined it being this hard (and I'm not talking about the last 9 months of barely sleeping or constantly cleaning puke off everything). I'm talking the emotions. I love that kid more than I ever could have imagined. The last thing I want to do every morning is leave him at home and then get to come home right about the time he is getting cranky for the night.

don't you judge those pjs- they're the backups to the backups

You may question my timing of having a child, but oddly enough Adam and I both felt it was the right time to give our little family a go. Life is chaotic right now, but I guess that was apart of our plan.

But man, is it hard not to sit around and wish it were a little different so I didn't have to leave that boy every morning. Not because it would be less work, but just so I wouldn't have to go through as much emotional torture. There's plenty of good to look to. I've still got lots up hope.... and at this moment I have hope that as I go rock that little boy back to sleep he will enjoy a nice long night of sleep.

Goodnight.

A Trip to Dallas

2011-11-19T20:39:00.004-06:00

Man, I am behind on posts. There's so much I would like to say but I never seem to find the time to say it. But, who wants to hear an apology? Your really just come here for the pictures, so here goes...

The first weekend of November, we took Murray on his first airplane trip. What was the occasion? Well, we were going to visit our new niece Alice for her baby blessing.

Here he is on our early, early flight still in he's pjs. The flights went pretty well. Thank goodness Adam was there to handle both Murray and I when things got a little bumpy and Murray threw his pacifier two rows back. And I thought I packed too much before traveling with a baby. We were a sight to see hauling all our luggage around this time!

Here's little itty bitty Alice who was perfectly content to cuddle with me.

Notice the size difference. It will be fun next Christmas when they'll be playing with each other.

Other highlights included: surprise school lunch with Ella, lunch dates without kids, sleeping in (because we had plenty of babysitters), and a big delicious dinner. It was fun to spend time with family and see all the little cousins together.

The Great Little Lion

2011-11-01T18:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Murray's first Halloween. He was a Great Little Lion.

We packed him into the bike trailer that evening and rode downtown to grab dinner (at Chipotle, which may help explain our lame farmer costumes). The great little lion received many compliments and saw many other little lions. After enjoying our $2 burritos (because of the lame farmer costumes), we continued our ride to a Halloween Party. There the little lion became a little fussy, as most lions eventually do.

We loaded the little lion up and rode our bikes home. Not but 30 seconds into our ride the little lion feel asleep.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all babies were dressed as cute little lions such as this?

It's not easy being a Great Little Lion.

This Is My Life

2011-10-26T21:31:00.002-05:00

Here's a peak into my life for an hour today.

I work from home on Wednesday mornings, which can really be a handful. I had put Murray down for a nap and continued working as long as I could. Thirty minutes before I had to leave for work, he woke up. I put some left-over veggie soup on the stove to heat up while I nursed Murray in the other room. Trudy comes in shortly, whining. I tell her to lay down so she'd quit, thinking she just wanted to go outside. She starts to fall asleep on the floor by my feet. I finish feeding Murray, burp him and turn him around. At this moment, Murray projectile pukes right on Trudy's back. Like a lot. Like enough to make an audible "splash" noise. Trudy, wakes up confused. I wipe off her back with a burp cloth.

At this point the smoke alarms start going off. Oh yeah, the soup. There wasn't much in the pot and it has burnt to complete char. That's what Trudy was whining about. Murray screams. I open windows, turn on fans, but it does nothing. The smoke alarms go off. Murray quits crying. I gather his things to take him across the street to the Buhler household (where he goes for a couple hours until Adam gets home on Wednesdays). We both smell horrible, like the worse burnt popcorn smell you can imagine. I'm late and it doesn't matter. I apologize to Adam Buhler for bringing a baby over that smells burnt.

So I get to work. I set up my laptop, do a few things, and eventually go to the bathroom (since I never seem to do this at home while watching Murray). I go to wash my hands only to see that my shirt is completely open, unbuttoned halfway down. I had forgotten, in all the chaos at home, to button my shirt up. I was wearing a scarf with my shirt... but still!

This is almost as bad as the time I went through a whole day at work with leaves in my hair. Yes, leaves and no, no one told me. (That's a story for another day).

All this in an hour. It could have literally been a sitcom.

This is my life.

Defend Your Freedom

2011-10-17T21:31:00.002-05:00

One way I've been practicing my American freedom lately is educating myself about current politics, and there is a LOT to pay attention to these days. The Trunnell house is really into government and politics lately. Call us nerdy, but if you start a politics discussion around these parts you are going to get an ear full.

As you may or may not know Republican Debates are in full swing. It's a great way to facilitate discussion and figure out what exactly you believe. It doesn't matter who I support or don't support, or if I'm even a republican or not, it is really interesting to hear certain topics discussed and then for me to research them out on my own.

GOP debates. Tomorrow night. I am a politics nerd and I'm excited.

My Current State of Mind

2011-10-15T10:00:00.002-05:00

You know how people tell you there's no other way to learn certain things unless you get married. I've certainly learned a great deal of patience. Not really so much with my spouse, but with more so with myself. For me it is easier to have patience with my spouse than myself. I have this idea of myself (as a wife) in my mind that falls short of my actual self everyday. But through much reflection (and a little practice) I've learned that it doesn't matter if I fall short, because maybe falling short to me is still pretty great. If I make a mistake, at least I'm trying.

Then you hear people say there's no other way to learn how to be more selfless (and more patient) than having a child. Lately, I've been learning these particular lessons. I can firmly tell you, THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO TRULY LEARN TO BE PATIENT THAN HAVING A CHILD. Do you understand me? Read it again and repeat to yourself.

At 4 in the morning when I am about to give up bouncing a baby back to sleep I'm trying to practice patience. When I'm the only one home and trying to get something very important done while a baby is screaming, I'm trying to practice patience. When the baby won't let me put him down because he's clinging onto my shoulder, I'm trying to practice patience. After spending a lot of time making a meal and I am about to take my first bite and the baby starts fussing to go to sleep, I am trying to practice patience (even though I know that food is getting cold and my mouth is watering because I'm starving).

It is a continual test of patience and I have learned that I am naturally a very inpatient person. But through the little practice I have had, I've gained so much patience. Still, I feel so inadequate and that I'm constantly making mistakes. But I understand that it is proof that I'm trying. I feel so far from what I want to be and that's more proof that I am really trying.

Striving to develop patience is a motivation for me because I am daily trying to become more like my Savior, Jesus Christ. I want to develop attributes such as these so I can become a better person. This is why having a family is a worth while cause. This is why all of us have a motivation within us to want to belong to and create our own family. Plus, it is one more (intentional) blessing in life that makes us happy.

I am so grateful that I am on this journey early in life. I am grateful that I am only 25 and learning such great lessons of marriage and parenthood. I consider myself a pretty stubborn and independent person, and I fear the version of me that would have not learned these lessons until I were much older. Because now, I am only a little set in my ways and can bend a bit more than I could have later in life.

Being married and a parent has already taught me things I could not have learned any other way and I am grateful for it. It is hard, but if it were not it would not be so joyful. And there is so much joy in being married and having a child! I hope you get the sense from me that it is seriously so much fun!

So lately, I am trying be patient with myself and always remember if I see myself making a mistake, at least it means I am trying.

Pictures as of Lately

2011-10-14T21:25:00.004-05:00

Some recent photos of Murray at 6 - 7 months-

We reached some milestones this month. Murray is sitting strong and rarely even falls over. He's still a little slow no the crawling front, he will first have to be willing to be on his stomach for more than 10 minutes to even allow this skill to be aquired. I get called "Mamamamama" a lot lately. It is still mostly in babbles and occationally when I leave the room. He continues to eat more varieties of food- peaches, pears, an occasional chance to suck on pickles (only when neither of us can handle screaming any longer), oatmeal, peas. He claps a lot and squeals in delight.

But... our proudest accomplishment is Murray's ability to now make the sign for milk. He definitely knows how to let us know when he's hungry (it seems like every time he sees me he makes the sign for milk). That's the only sign language he's caught onto, but we continue to make a few other simple signs for him to learn.

climbing into his toy box

'baby body builder' checking himself out in the mirror

he loves listening to music and singing (even my voice that can barely carry a tune)

As for Adam and I....

Look at this picture of Adam and you can see just how much sleep we're getting lately. Just try and ignore the chocolate cake that he so proudly made and look at those bags under his eyes. I speak for us both when I say,

I feel like I haven't slept in months.

If only Murray felt the same way.

My Work Life

2011-09-28T12:25:00.003-05:00

I don't usually talk much about my work on here, but I can completely relate to this (especially the 6th point on the list).

So this post is for my architecture friends... and all you other creepers reading my blog to learn a little more about me.

Just a little gift from the Finnish Government

2011-09-27T18:00:00.000-05:00

I often hear about the benefits given to new mothers in European countries and think of how advanced those cultures seem. "Oh, wouldn't that be nice..."

But.... then I saw this from Finland and I was overcome with insane jealousy. Just a little gift to new mothers from the government.

And... It all comes in a box that doubles as a crib. Seriously?!

Found via ohdeedoh.

Hello Old Friend

2011-09-26T21:05:00.004-05:00

In recent months I have ignored a dear friend of mine: me dear, sweet sewing machine.

My sewing machine sat quietly upon the top shelf of Murray's closet for months, seven months to be exact. I would see her and longingly remember old times. I would remember the days when I wasn't exhausted at 9pm. I would remember the days when instead of waking up every four hours to a crying baby, I would sew into the early hours of the morning. I would remember the days I would look forward to seeing that sewing machine, and now, instead I look forward to seeing a baby.

There would be nights when I would tempted to dig into a sewing project and then I would remember where that sweet sewing machine sat- in a sleeping baby's closet. And I don't dare rummage through a sleeping baby's closet.

I recent weeks, I got up the courage to dust off that old friend of mine and dig into some impromptu sewing projects. IT FELT GREAT.

1. The first is a curtain to hide our "laundry room" which is really a nook in our bathroom.

our mess:

nice and hidden:

2. Trudy tends to go through many dog beds. She was on her second of the year. They all end up lumpy, chewed up, covered in dog hair, and just plain disgusting. After many nights of losing my appetite looking at her worn-out bed from the dinner table, I gave in and sewed her one myself. What can I say... she seems to love it more than all the dog beds that came before. And I think the new retro paisley suits her well- not too feminine, but just enough frill for her personality. No longer is there a gross, lumpy dog bed in our living room, but instead a tailored bed fit for a dog Princess (that's a capital 'P' because that was in fact Trudy's real name).

before:

and after:

The Fall List

2011-09-18T19:00:00.002-05:00

There are a variety of things I love about the Fall:

It is the season I started dating my husband
It is the season I got engaged to my husband (4 years later)
It is when you can open your windows and smell the moist leaves beginning to fall
It is the only season when I can justify going out to buy a scented candle just for the occasion
It is the only season that gets a fancy alternate name: Autumn
It is the season that smells like newly sharpened pencils (from one of my favorite movies)
It is the season with the cutest clothes (check this post out)
It is when babies get to start wearing hoodies (and a hoodie on a baby is, like, the cutest thing in the world).
Soon the mums will start blooming in my yard
It is the only season we make a special trip to the pumpkin patch (or, if we are luckly, the cider mill)
It is the season of tailgating and chilly campfires
It is the season on Halloween parties and Thanksgiving Dinner
It is the only season I can justify watching scary movies (which by scary I mean Hocus Pocus or Sleepy Hallow)
It is the best weather to exercise outside in because the slight chill causes you to move a little faster to get warm
It is the season I found out I was having a sweet little boy
It is the best season for drives through the county to see the autumn colors

And if you still aren't convinced... here's another reason to love the Fall.

We just had to try it out a little early. Judging by the fit, it may not fit in a month and a half.

Top 5 in August

2011-09-12T20:45:00.006-05:00

I've gotten a little behind on the blog lately (like in the last month altogether), so you get the brief update. Here are a few milestones, mostly for Murray.

1. Murray is sitting all by himself. He also learned to read, not really, but really does enjoy chewing on books.

2. We took a trip out to Colorado to see family and see Adam's sister and boyfriend Sam get married. We started out in Colorado Springs where we visited Garden of the Gods and basked in the beautiful weather. Then we traveled up to Boulder, stopping to see my Aunt Sheryl and Uncle Dave along the way. Murray wasn't shy to flash some smiles that day. Once we got to Boulder, we saw many more family members and stayed through the weekend to see Mr. and Mrs. Sam and Ashley Miller get married. The wedding was absolutely beautiful and the view at their outdoor venue really made me question why I was not living in Colorado. The day we left, I literally did not want to get in the car to come home. I absolutely LOVED it out there... enough that Adam and I couldn't wait to look at real estate and see if there were any schools he could transfer to. Then after day-dreaming a bit, we walked into our home in Lawrence and were reminded how we have to stay here just a little bit longer. (But I really hope Colorado is in our future).

Adam and Miss Ella at Manitou Springs in Colorado

Murray showing off his smiles to my Aunt Sheryl

Murray and the cousins (Carly and Ella)

us at the wedding in Boulder

3. Murray's food repertoire has expanded. He can now add rice cereal, bananas, carrots, sweet potatoes, and avocado to his diet. So far so good. Carrots weren't a big hit, but you should see this kid down a bowl of sweet potatoes!

4. Murray continues to grow and it is so fun to see his personality come out. I love coming home just to walk in the door and see his face light up at the sight of me. Nothing compares to that. We are having so much fun being parents to this kid.

5. I started working two mornings a week from home. So far it is going really well. I feel like I'm doing pretty well multi-tasking and Murray usually makes it pretty easy in the mornings because he's still tired. I am so grateful my work has accepted such a flexible plan. I get to see Murray more during the day, instead of at night when he's ready to sleep, and it really eases the stress of my workweek. I really can't complain, but there are still definitely days that I just wish I could just stay home.

Hopefully I'll be checking in more, with more brief updates instead of super long ones. Fall is just around the corner and you know how I can't contain my excitement for fall (if you don't know, just look at my past posts during the fall). Fall reminds me of so many great things and puts me in such a good mood. I am sure I will be sharing lots of fun stories in the near future.

Enjoy your Monday!

Tour d'Trunnells

2011-08-05T20:38:00.005-05:00

I recently took some pics of our house as part of an application for a part-time blogging position. I thought I would share so that my efforts weren't completely in vain.

Our House:

790 sqft gives us 2 bedrooms, 1 bath

built 1930's, completely gutted in 2009

lived in since May 2010

wall art purchased from various artists on etsy.com

couch is 1 of 4 items we have purchased from an actual store

table is from a flea market, striped and re-stained (the actual wood was found under like 5 layers of paint)

chairs are obviously from a variety of second hand stores

bookshelves found dumpster diving and repainted

print made by me

curtains made by me

couch table purchased at flea market, striped and re-stained & painted

record player is one of the only things Adam brought to our marriage (along side an air mattress & a giant collection of basketball cards)

old soda crate for record storage

blinds made by me

barstools found on craigslist and repainted

prints by Nikki McClure

bar top install by us, purchased at ikea

adorable baby made by me... and Adam

dresser found at second hand store

mirror found at goodwill and painted

jewelry stand is actually an antique coffee mug holder

bed is from ikea

lamp purchased at second hand store

guitar case is sitting there because... we are too lazy to put it in the attic

blinds made by me

couch is purchased from urban outfitters (folds into a full-size bed)

crib was gifted to us

... there's that adorable baby again

pillows made by me

curtains made by me

shelf found dumpster diving

shelf brackets from ikea

print from etsy.com

birds made by friends at Murray's baby shower

print was rescued from friends trash

1 2 3 print is from a Gap ad that came in the mail (evidence that I am super cheap & resourceful)

dresser was rescued from co-workers basement

lamp is from tj maxx

artwork is 2 framed album covers

metal basket from a flea market

mirror hung by us and purchased from tj maxx

fruit crates from flea market

rug is from amish store, made from denim & cotton scraps

vintage sign numbers from etsy.com

print from antique store

Our house is ever changing and definitely not finished. I am always on the lookout for new items to add without making it look too cluttered. If I had to give 3 tips for making your house your own they would be:

1. Pick two main colors per room and then accent those with colors in the same family.

2. Don't ever pick a theme because you will get sick of it and over do it. Our house is very eclectic and I just find things I like- old & new. If there's something you see that you like (or see the potential) give it 15 minutes and if you are still thinking about it consider buying it. There are so many odds and ins I wish I would have purchased and still think about to this day.

3. Pick your furniture pieces wisely and be willing to repaint or re-stain something to match your decor.

And... my mantra is to buy cheap because then you won't feel bad replacing it. I live for the hunt of new furniture.

So, I challenge you to also do a house tour because I personally love looking around in other people's houses for ideas... and hopefully you enjoyed looking around mine.

Have a great weekend!

Swimming Baby

2011-07-28T18:00:00.004-05:00

One thing I always wanted to teach Murray was how to swim.

This is something Adam and I would talk about before Murray was born. I wanted to teach him how to swim and Adam wanted to teach him to ride a bike without training wheels. He was always enthusiastically pointing out those kids pushing themselves around on those wooden bikes where they can still touch the ground so they don't need training wheels. Apparently the idea is that if you never introduce a child to training wheels they will learn how to ride a bike a lot sooner. (I am not speaking from experience, because I was the loser kid in your neighborhood who couldn't ride my bike without training wheels until I was in the fourth grade.)

Anyway, what I did learn how to do early was swim. I remember my mom first taking me to swim lessons around the time my sister was born, so when I was two or three. After that I had a few swim lessons from time to time, but I really remember my dad and my grandpa actually teaching me how to swim. We were in Hawaii, because isn't that where everyone learns how to swim? (Remember, I have airline parents.) So, my Dad pulled me into the deeper end of the pool out of the shallow water. He and my grandpa slowly kept walking away and I slowly kept swimming towards them without noticing. Once I realized it, I was so proud of myself and I've been swimming ever since.

Have you ever heard of Oceans of Fun? Well, my sister and I practically grew up there. Seriously, every weekend of our lives until I was probably 15 was spent at that Kansas City water park. I do have some good memories besides the disgustingly dirty water that you would swim with your hand in front of you as a precaution to avoid the occasional mouthful of hair... or worse... a floating band-aid. We would spend hours in the wave pool diving to the bottom and then pushing people in floating tubes out of the way to find air above the surface (the wave pool was extremely crowded). I can still hear the Beach Boys songs and crowds of children running fervently into the waves.

When we got tired of that, we would take laps around the lazy river... swimming opposite of the current. We found ways to entertain ourselves by swimming all day. I don't claim to be a great swimmer by any means, but on hot summer days I daydream of swimming rather than sitting inside at work. Since we now have a child, it gives us even more of an excuse to go swimming. It also gives us an excuse to go use the free kid's pool in the park... because it is not usually socially acceptable to go there without a child.

Murray first got accustomed to water in his bathtub. He loves being surrounded by water and he especially loves to splash by uncontrollably flailing his arms and letting out high pitched squeals. I first took him to the pool when he was three months old. From the first time I put him in the water at the kid's pool he wanted to be on his tummy so he could kick and splash around. He seriously cries now, if we take him out of this position. However, once he gets tired, he will literally float on his back and almost fall asleep because he becomes so relaxed.

Going to the pool also has another bonus. Murray is usually totally out halfway through our drive home (which is only a little over a mile). I once got him out of his car seat, changed him out of his swimming diaper, put pjs on him, and set him in his crib without him even waking up. Yes, yes I did.

slashing and pulling his face out of the water... Murray that is, not Adam

taking a break

splashing

ahhh, I can see the sleep coming on now

This is the face of an exhausted baby.

Family Picnic

2011-07-27T19:18:00.003-05:00

I dared Adam I could eat an entire half a watermelon.

We gathered ourselves and our kid, found a nice shaded spot at the lake, cut that watermelon open and started eating.

I only ate a third, but I was oh, so pleasantly full.

Wednesday is Band Night

2011-07-03T22:21:00.004-05:00

I love summers in Lawrence. Well, I love summers in general.

One reason I love summers in Lawrence is the city band on Wednesday nights. Another great convenience is that we are in walking distance. Yes living on the East side has its downsides (mostly sketchy people hanging outside of our local recycling center) but I find the walk from our house to South Park to be quite lovely.

This week was the first Wednesday all summer that we actually went down to listen in person. I've been hearing the faint sounds of 1940's swing music at dusk on Wednesday nights as I've been pulling weeds out of our flower beds. Murray's usually asleep by the time the band starts, but this week I had a strategy. I put him down for a nap at about 6:30pm and by 7:30pm he was wide awake. We loaded him into the baby carrier, put the dog on her leash, and our little family was South Park bound.

I love laying out a blanket, eating a packed dinner of pb&j and fruit, sweating until your clothes stick to your back, and watching a young baby boy contently listen to American band tunes.

It was fun.

The Weekend Update

2011-06-27T22:00:00.004-05:00

For no specific reason the last few days have been quite fabulous.

Here's why: a story of a little family's Saturday

A loud morning thunderstorm begins to clear to make way for rays of sunshine. A couple pulls themselves out of a deep slumber as they are awoken by a human alarm clock- a baby who makes noises literally like an alarm clock (eh eh eh eh and on and on). The couple enthusiastically fill their bellies with cereal and gather the baby and his belongings to begin their Saturday.

First stop is the Farmer's market. The baby takes in all of his surroundings with huge eyes. The dad contently inhales the smells of breakfast burritos and hands over cash when requested. The mom excitedly purchases fresh tomatoes and succulents that she will no doubt struggle to keep alive, but will admire around her home until then.

They stroll around Mass. Street. The dad gathers bike parts for rebuilding an old bike. The baby falls asleep with his mouth open and people chuckle as they walk by. The day is spent getting things done as a little family. They sing in the car and the baby makes loud noises to be included.

At the end they are all worn out. The baby falls asleep dreaming sweet baby dreams (most likely of ceiling fans and mirrors).

It was a Saturday well had by all.

A Day to Celebrate Fathers

2011-06-20T22:01:00.003-05:00

We had a pretty great weekend.

I like leaving work on a Friday knowing I have some place to be. I like showing up to my house to find friends already in my living room. I like barbecues. I like catching up with friends. I like staying up until my eyes burn. I (secretly) like going back to where I grew up on a Saturday. I like spending time with my husband (it is hard to come by lately). I like late night thunderstorms. I like getting Murray ready for church. I like Sunday naps and Sunday dinner with friends.

and I really like my two boys

We had a good Father's day (I think)... It's seriously still so hard to get used to being called a 'mother' or a 'father.' I do feel more and more like a mother but I still don't feel like those are our holidays to claim yet. Adam has somehow always been a father in my mind. I just love how much he's always wanted a family and how he always wanted me to be apart of it. I knew becoming a father was going to be the most natural thing for him. Although it's full of its difficulties, he does an amazing job! I'm still convinced he does a better job than me (well most of the time). I learn so much from his example, and that extends far beyond parenting.

I am grateful for my own fathers. One I was born to, one I met later in life, and the other raised my amazing husband. I have gained so many perspectives from these men (and a few others) over the years. One has unwavering pride and love. He reminds me how simple life is. The other taught me how to draw and sent me to school with the best dioramas in the world. Both taught me how to laugh in different ways. Both taught me I was of great value. The other, taught me to think deeply and with his power to connect everything I now think more in metaphors (unintentionally). He's taught me how everything in life is connected. I am truly lucky to have so many great fathers in my life.

I've most importantly learned how you can love different people in so many different ways. I get the feeling you can't run out of love and that makes me happy that we possess that ability inside us.

I will NEVER...

2011-06-09T18:00:00.003-05:00

So before I had a baby I promised I would never do the following:

"Mothering Fouls" according to me....

1. I would never wipe snot off my kid's face with my bare hand.

2. I would never be content wearing clothes that had been vomited on (or covered in other bodily fluid).

Nowadays, I wonder if there's a surface in our home that hasn't been vomited on. Okay... that's an exaggeration but sometimes I really wonder. One of the first few weeks we had Murray, Adam came back to bed after changing him.

"Murray just projectile puked on the window."

"The window?" (pause) "Did you clean it up?"

"No."

"Oh, okay. Goodnight."

There was another day that Murray puked and I could not find it. When you've got a baby in hand, managing a demanding dog, and who knows what else, this is actually possible. Later on, I found a puddle on the floor under a chair.

So I am still determined to not commit Mothing Foul Number 1, but I have to say, I'm wavering on Mothering Foul Number 2.

I promise I'm not giving him Miracle Grow

2011-06-08T18:55:00.001-05:00

So believe it or not, my not yet 3 month old is teething. No, I'm not asking for sympathy. Just when he was getting a good sleep routine I noticed a tooth. Actually this tooth has been below the gums since he was born, but I was in denial that it was actually a real tooth. Now this tooth is accompanied by 2 others.

A soon to be 3 month old with 3 teeth.

I think he's also starting to look a little like his dad. Do you see it?

Where We've Been Lately

2011-06-07T21:00:00.002-05:00

Time sure is flying, but in a way it feels like we've had a baby forever. Our boy is growing quickly.

It's amazing how you can wake up every morning and say to yourself "I have no idea what I'm doing." There are literally daily occurrences where I pick Murray up and suddenly all my knowledge and experience disappears from my mind. He must be so amused as I look at him blankly and melt when he flashes me a smile. "Who are you again?" I ask myself. Oh yeah, I have a child! It still hasn't sunk in. Although... I know I'm getting the hang of it a little bit. I can now go out in public without having a panic attack and an escape plan. We walked all the way down to Mass Street on Saturday to run a few errands. Just the two of us.

We've been making a habit of going on long Saturday walks.

This is our stroller / baby hiking pack. Both boys seem to enjoy it.

We've seen a lot of family lately as well. I always enjoy the chance to show off my baby.

my mom, me, & my Nanny on Mother's Day

Aunt Mallory, who always comes bearing gifts

We are trying really hard to enjoy everyday without changing our lives too much. The biggest adjustments are having to be at home a little early so Murray can get to sleep and of course the lack of sleep. I refuse to count my hours of sleep because it would make me feel tired.

Life's good. We are enjoying our summer so far.

Good Days

2011-05-17T22:01:00.003-05:00

Spring has an effect on me. It makes me so cheerful. I absolutely love this time of year. Although, every Spring I can't help but feel like I am about to have a summer vacation of some kind- unfortunately not this year. I am a working gal all summer long.

Work has been easier. It is oh so hard to leave Murray at home. Luckily I see him at lunch when I come home to feed him. There is nothing better than a little baby eagerly waiting for you- for only something you can do- on a lunch break and at the end of the day. I am fortunate enough to have an amazing husband that takes incredible care of our baby while I am away.

He swaddles better than I do. He gets him to sleep deeply better than I do. He changes him quicker than I do. He dresses him cooler than I do. He definitely packs a diaper bag better than I do.

I always knew I married him for a reason:)

This time of year also makes me want to buy plants. It makes me want to buy a new puppy. It makes me want to highlight my hair. I currently do not have the means for any of these, but I did attempt the third.

You can't tell that well in these photos, but I did. I colored my hair using an at-home-do-it-yourself box of dye which I have never attempted before (and may not ever again, oh who am I kidding I get delight from changing my hair length or color). It yielded sort of a strawberry blonde color that I immediately regretted... but am slowly getting used to. Eh, I'll just were some bright red lipstick and claim that Cate Blanchett was my inspiration.

Happy Tuesday!

Photos From a Blessing Day

2011-04-28T15:21:00.004-05:00

And if you can't tell... he's a screamer, but we all smiled through it anyway.

Fact

2011-04-28T15:07:00.002-05:00

FACT:

sleeping babies,

smiling babies,

and alert babies,

are much more fun than sad-faced babies.

Impractical Daydreaming

2011-04-24T22:36:00.005-05:00

So here I am, 10:30pm and baby Murray is sleeping... I think Adam and I might be getting the hang of this?

Anyway, this time of year always gets me daydreaming about home improvement projects. I don't know if it's the nice weather finally allowing us to work in our sad excuse for a yard. Perhaps it's that we bought our house this time exactly one year ago. Is it because it's tax return season and I like to convince myself that our car doesn't need a timing belt and that instead we need to redecorate our bedroom??

It is probably a combination and it is the season of the Small Cool Contest on apartmenttherapy.com! Maybe one day I will be brave enough to enter. (We do fall into the "little" category and I do have the skills to draft up a pretty accurate floor plan, which the rules require.) Here are a few images I've saved for future projects while browsing through the entries so far:

color and shelving.

framed 3d artwork.

pillow fabric.

simplicity and cubby storage.

amazing light.

I've saved all of these with a few projects of my own in mind, but this contest is such an inspiration for all sorts of decorating styles. I won't mention how many hours I've spent sifting through the entries and giving my approval or disapproval...

Adam and I bought our house mostly as a starter home and for the purpose of gaining some equity, but there are a few projects we would like to accomplish before we move. In order of importance:

1. install a brick walkway in front of house out to the street

2. install basketball hoop on the side of the driveway

3. install tile backsplash in kitchen (we even left it unpainted so we would think of it everyday as we walk by)

4. build brick patio in back yard in order to best entertain friends

5. remove shower insert and replace with tile

6. finish landscaping the yard (oh and actually grow a full lawn of grass)

7. replace light fixtures with more attractive pendants.

8. put curtains on ceiling track in bathroom to cover up washer and dryer

We've got a three year plan.

So I saw this on Apartment therapy while browsing today. It's removeable wallpaper. I've always loved how modern / retro wallpaper looks but didn't want to put it up because it seemed like such a permanent design solution. So here's an idea for all of you looking for a splash of color without having to paint / repaint. There's a pretty great selection and the price is reasonable.

I've got just the place for this beauty of a print...

seen here in orange:

What a brilliant idea. Seems like buying this would be so much more enjoyable than paying a utility bill next month. I hope you all had a great weekend. We did. Our little guy is starting to smile and it M-E-L-T-S my heart.

Bittersweet

2011-04-21T00:02:00.004-05:00

Some days are rougher than others.

Today, I am grateful that I have a wonderful husband to fill in when I am feeling under the weather. I awoke today with a horrible sore throat and a fever (I most definitely should be in bed right now... but I am savoring the sweet sound of silence as I sit at my dining table in the dark).

This last month has been a quick blur and I am starting to get frustrated when the day draws to an end and I have accomplished nothing. That is actually only a matter of perspective because really I have accomplished something. I nursed a baby like 10 times today and even got to shower, and really that is something.

Adam told me when I went on maternity leave that all I needed to do was care for a baby during my time at home. He knows I have a problem doing something all the time. I most likely have a form of OCD in the way I am always cleaning or organizing something in my house. I lived by that advice until recently when I realized that I only have two weeks left at home until returning to work. Actually less.

I am feeling anxious like I have to live each day to its maximum potential until I go back to work. It's a horrible feeling. As much as I want to shove the notion of going back to work to the back of my mind I can't. I will absolutely miss spending time with my baby all day long (I am just getting the hang of it after all). But what can I do? Circumstances aren't always ideal and being a young family you can't always have the lifestyle you want right away. Gosh, we are still figuring out what we want half the time.

So today I am grateful for my sweet husband and his concern for me. I am grateful he took our little boy to his 6-week checkup this morning while I lay in bed like the lame cold-stricken mother that I am (at least today anyway). I will focus my energy on this in attempt to shove the idea of returning to work out of my mind.

I'm in love with these boys.

A Sneak Peak at Murray's Baby Photos

2011-04-05T12:53:00.003-05:00

We had these taken last week and can't wait to see the rest.

Go here to see more cute baby photos!

A Few Pics for the Family

2011-03-31T13:45:00.006-05:00

Here's just a few pictures from Murray's first couple weeks of life.

We've learned many things about Murray. A few of my favorites are how he likes to stare up at us when we hold him on our shoulder. He has serious gas, it woke my up in the middle of the night because it lasted so long. He's a loud eater. He sounds like a pterodactyl when he cries. He smiles in his sleep. He makes a sound after he sneezes that sounds like "ow."

A Milestone

2011-03-31T13:24:00.003-05:00

Today marks a milestone for me.

I am a very independent person. I must always be accomplishing something or I feel like I'm wasting my time. It drives Adam crazy. He can't understand why I can't sit down and relax. The last couple weeks have felt a little frustrating for me. No, not entirely because my new baby is screaming 70% of his time awake, but because I find myself a little tied down.

Baby cries. Mom soothes baby. Mom no longer can move in fear of waking baby. Mom sighs because everything is now out of her reach- her laptop, a magazine, her phone, her water, her chapstick, even her chocolate pudding that the dog is now licking.

Today I put on the baby carrier all by myself. That's right, I a typing this with two hands while a baby is attached infront of me. It is AMAZING.

I'm still going to take it easy and not be my usually busy self, but I would just like to mark this day as a major milestone in my life as a new mother.

I got my baby carrier here and I love it.

The baby carrier in action last week on our first family walk.

Five Things that Got me Through the Last Two Weeks

2011-03-27T11:35:00.002-05:00

I could not have made it through the last two weeks without these (so if you are going to be a new mother or buying a gift for someone listen up):

1. Aden + Anais Muslin Swaddle Blankets- These are the perfect weight and when rolled up, act as great props for sore arms while nursing. They are also huge so you can use them for so much.

2. The Miracle Swaddle Blanket- This calms Murray down through his worst screams. You may think they hate it at first but just wait five minutes. It stays tight and is a must-have for sleeping at night.

3. Lansinoh Gel Pads- Yes, these are pricey but I would have been crying through every feeding without them. I refrigerated mine and only used them during the day. If you put them back on their plastic disks at night you can use them for several days.

4. Happiest Baby on the Block- On the verge of a breakdown, Adam read almost the entire book in a night. It doesn't solve all your problems but it certainly helps.

5. Lanoilin- Not only does his works for the obvious, it moistens baby's skin, and can I admit it is the best chapstick ever?

Murray's Entrance into the World

2011-03-22T21:11:00.005-05:00

It was a Saturday when I first started having some “mini-contractions” that felt a little different than normal. I’d been having these small discomforting cramps for weeks on and off so I wasn’t about to get my hopes up again. I started doing lots of things around the house, in hopes of keeping them going. I did laundry, cleaned up all the dishes, I even secured the changing pad down on the dresser like the directions instructed (and Adam had procrastinated because he thought it was unnecessary). I put on my Beck Pandora Music Station and continued doing housework to its upbeat rhythm.

Adam had ironically left that morning to take his mom back to the airport to catch her flight. I was planning on tagging along but just felt like I should maybe stay home and avoid a two hour car ride. She had flown out to help us with the baby, but since he was currently sixteen days over his due date her plan had to be adjusted. She had flown out on his due date and had been with us over two weeks (which was great- she made meals, cleaned up the house, froze dinners for later use). It was fantastic having her help when I really didn’t feel like doing much.

I was definitely hoping these small pains were going to turn into labor because I was recently put on a time limit for when the baby could come naturally. I wanted to avoid being induced because I had chosen to go to a Birthing Center and be cared for by a midwife instead of an OB/GYN. Usually the medication given to induce brings on more severe contractions than you would normally have in a natural labor. The baby could go into distress or, I don’t know how to say this pleasantly, your uterus could rupture from all the unnatural pressure.

I wanted to experience a natural child-birth and I knew if I were to be induced that contractions would inevitably drive me to take some sort of medication to reduce the pain. I know some people who could withstand the temptation, but I didn’t think I would be one of them. The birthing center didn’t have pain medication so I knew that labor there would help me to just push through the pain. I wanted to have a natural childbirth because I had confidence in my body, that it was capable. To me, God gave me a body to tolerate nothing more than it could handle. To me, God made childbirth the way it was because it was a sufficient process, it was intentional. To me, childbirth was a normal bodily process that women could experience in assisting God to bring children into the world. I don’t think it should be treated as an emergency. And to me, as a woman I felt compelled to experience the discomfort of childbirth because I had the right to. I wanted to experience the whole thing, void of any intervention just so I could know exactly how it felt. I knew that with all that pain and discomfort, the reward at the end would taste even sweeter.

If the baby didn’t come on his own by the end of the weekend, I was going to have to discuss getting induced the following Tuesday. I had been closely monitored and his heart-rate was still perfectly healthy, which is a sign that the placenta was still functioning and providing him all the oxygen and nutrients that he needed. Regardless, I had an appointment that Monday to get an ultrasound and check the amniotic fluid levels and the baby’s condition. Fortunately, I didn’t need that appointment.

When Adam came home from the airport I was excited about my progressing mini-contractions. We started timing them and got all of our stuff together just in case. Then we continued on with the rest of the day’s activities. I read a little bit, I think I took a short nap, we watched the Big Twelve Tournament game and celebrated KU’s win. We had checked in with Norla, our midwife just to let her know the contractions were about five minutes apart and some lasting about two minutes long. Adam started making dinner- eggs, sausage, and hashbrowns. It was after we had finished our dinner (we were eating in bed) when I was laughing about something Adam was saying and all the sudden we heard “POP”. I’m sure my face was just as shocked as Adam’s when I felt a gush of fluid. My water had just broke and it was the weirdest sensation ever.

I had asked Norla in a previous appointment if many people’s water broke before active labor, or was it just another thing the movies had used to fool us into thinking actually happens. She said it only happened to about five percent of the women that came into the Birthing Center. I just happened to be one of the rare five percent.

After my water broke I had a contraction and this one was the real thing. It was real pain, those sweet mini-contractions were gone. Adam kept begging me that we needed to leave now to travel the half hour to Topeka to get to the Birthing Center. After a few good contractions I completely agreed. We got everything and loaded it into the car. When I mean everything I am referring to: my three changes of clothes, my lemongrass “birthing” candle that I was going to sweetly request when I labor got a little rough, or the lavender bath oil that was going to completely soothe me while I labored in the tub, the snacks that were going to sound so delicious and provide me all the essential energy I would need to bear through labor. Needless to say, I used nothing I planned on. My birthing bag came back home with me exactly the way it had left.

The drive to Topeka was worse than I expected. It was rough breathing through the increasingly more intense contractions while traveling at high speeds in a car. My sense of time was beginning to fade as I closed my eyes through any discomfort. I was escaping into another place only partially aware of my state of existing making the drive to Topeka.

I was in labor mode. I’d begun preparing for it weeks before. Labor was going to be my “marathon.” I am not a runner by nature, but when I do run I have to have a certain mindset. I have to escape into this partial awareness, get into a rhythm, expect to meet my wall, and then overcome my wall (or the point at which I want to quit). This was my pain coping strategy.

I don’t remember much about that ride, other than it being worse than I expected. We took the interstate to Topeka and therefor had to get on the toll-road. Wouldn’t you expect that this of all times would be when we would get stuck behind someone that didn’t have money to pay their toll? Funny how that works. When we got to the birthing center I could barely walk through my contractions. I swear it took me fifteen minutes to get into the building. We arrived to a very peaceful atmosphere. The lights were low, it was very warm, Norla began to run a bath, Adam carried all our stuff inside and set up the laptop for my “Laboring Playlist.” Making playlists is one of Adam’s secret talents and I never could have gotten through that labor without that playlist. I think the nurse even said we should save it so she could use it for her next birth.

So here’s the details about my cervix that you can choose to skip over. Norla checked me as soon as I got to the Birthing Center and I was between four and five centimeters dilated and completely effaced. As I got into the bath and labored through a few more contractions I began to hit my wall. First of all, I thought I would love the bath, but I hated it. I just couldn’t get comfortable. It was hot and I constantly felt like I was going to throw up.

I vividly remember sitting in that bath, leaning over the side looking into a bowl in which at any second I would begin to puke into again, and thinking how naive am I? Everyone told me this was going to hurt but I never really believed them. If I feel like this at four to five centimeters dilated how am I going to get through the rest? I remembered reading birthing stories where women would say that all you had to do was make it to seven centimeters and then you would know you could handle the rest of the pain. I remember friends telling me transition is the worst part, it’s so horrible.

I turned and looked at Adam, “How do I not feel the pain?”

Adam and I had talked a lot about pain in the months leading up to this. We would discuss how pain is completely mental and it’s not physical. You can choose to feel or not feel pain. He had kidney stones a few years before and he talked a lot about how the only way he escaped it was to give in to the pain and kind of float away from your body. So when I asked him that question it was in search of the answer to how do I give into the pain. When I saw all the sympathy in his eyes I knew this was my moment to choose.

In all reality, this was my wall. This was the moment in my labor when I completely gave in to my physical pain. From then on out it was a complete mental strategy in dealing with the pain. Little did I know, this was also the transition in my labor. When Norla checked my cervix again after getting out of the bath I was between eight and nine centimeters dilated. It took me only two and a half hours to get through the entire phase of active labor. It was intense and that is why I was throwing up after every single contraction. Norla then gave me the go ahead to start pushing if I felt the urge.

Here is the point in the laboring story where stamina comes into play. I was pushing from about 1 am until the baby was born at 1:50 pm (that is a little exaggeration because there was an hour less because of the time change since it was daylight savings). Pushing wasn’t nearly as painful just required a lot of patience.

I kept holding onto the Blessing Adam had given me a few days before my labor. There were two things he said that I grasped to:

1. the baby would be born the way he was meant to come into the world

2. I would be blessed with strength, courage, and patience beyond my own to handle my birthing experience.

From that blessing I knew I could do this and that I had everything I needed to get through it. I was also comforted that this momentary event would be just that, a small moment, and that the baby would be born healthy.

My labor began to slow after a few hours of pushing. The baby had always been sitting really low and was skewed instead of being with his back towards the front of my belly. His head was obviously stuck in an awkward position and had probably been molded that way for quite some time. I agreed to take Quinidine, a pill that speeds up contractions. It helped noticeably. Since I was off in my own reality, I felt like the contractions were coming at just the right pace for me to handle. They would come and then I would rest a little and then they would start again. Adam and the midwife later told me they were probably four to five minutes apart and that contributed to making the pushing phase of labor so long.

I was completely drained of energy at this point. I had thrown up all solid food I had eaten in the last couple days, everything they fed me tasted disgusting and too sweet. I had managed to keep water and extremely watered-down juice in my body. We agreed that I needed an I.V. to get some glucose in my body. So there I was in the middle of contractions and the nurse is struggling to find a vein in my arm to use. I think after the third or fourth location she tried she finally found one. It would normally bother me to have someone poking around in my hand and arm like that, but at that moment someone could have cut off my hand and I don’t think I would have flinched. Like I said, I was just in another mindset.

I was a little panicked when I felt contractions coming on and the attention was getting paid to my veins. It wasn’t the only time in labor I felt that way. Adam got nauseous and had to sit down to eat something. Out of all the times to get nauseous it had to be during childbirth. He said that me vomiting was the only part of childbirth that bothered him.

Pushing continued and my team stood by. Norla, Jenn (my nurse), Adam, and later Kelly (who teaches the birthing classes) all kept me going. During most of the labor I was scared to look up at anyone’s face in fear of seeing disappointment in how I was doing. I had never attended a childbirth and I didn’t know what was normal laboring etiquette. But I found the contrary when I did look at their faces. They never wavered, they were all in this with me until the very end. I’m sure they were just as tired as I was, but I never could sense that they were impatient with me. I can’t even express how amazing they all were.

Adam was incredibly supportive. He was invested in what I was feeling and I hung on to everything he was saying. I am proud that I never once yelled at him, never once cursed, never once said the typical I can’t do this anymore. The worse thing I said to Adam the entire time was how his breathe smelled, but I am very sure mine smelled much worse. Having that support got me threw everything.

It got to a point when the baby’s head had been visible for a few hours and nothing was happening. Norla then gave me three options. One, I could be given a drug to stop my labor so I could sleep and resume later. This didn’t even appeal to me since I felt so close. Two, I could transfer to the hospital, they would give me pitocin to speed things up and deliver there. I was so set on finishing this labor where I started it. I was determined to have the baby at the Birthing Center if that were possible. Plus, I don’t even know how one would begin to travel to a hospital with a crowning baby. Lastly, Norla could give me an episiotomy.

When I first started seeing Norla, this was one of the first questions I asked, since episiotomy rates are so high at hospitals. She responded that she’d only performed three in her entire midwife experience, so I knew that if she were giving it to me as an option it really was a last resort. I think my response was something like “Please just cut me, please let’s get this over with.”

After that point, labor progressed much quicker. Before I knew it I could hear the sweet excitement of everyone telling me I was almost there. I could just hear the anticipation in Adam’s voice knowing that we would soon see our baby.

When he was finally born, it was the most surreal moment I’ve ever experienced. It was one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever experienced and it took days to ware off. There he was. They told me to pick up my baby as soon as he was completely out. I was so drained of any ounce of energy that I had to ask for help. His weight was beyond my ability to lift at that moment. Adam helped put him on my chest. He whimpered a little and I soothed him. I didn’t even have to think about it, I just knew how to. I’d occasionally thought about what I would say because I’ve always felt awkward talking to babies, but I didn’t have to try. The moment we first met was incredible. He was familiar to me. I would do the whole thing over in a heartbeat to relive that moment. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

I love my birth story. At no point was it too much to handle. It was such a sweet, sweet experience. I’ve thought a lot about it this last week. It has been great to reminisce with Adam, Norla and Jenn. I feel so satisfied with how it went. Norla later told me of all the births she’s attended, mine was one of the toughest, but also one of the most rewarding. I didn’t need her reassurance, but it is nice to know how capable I am. I do feel quite accomplished, if I may say so.

Jenn (my nurse), me, Murray, and Norla (our midwife)

I hope that wasn’t too much to information for you. It’s almost entirely for me to remember every moment of it. I hope you all find the perfect birth for you and make it your own. It is such a rewarding experience.

Emotions of Being a New Mother

2011-03-19T15:17:00.004-05:00

When Murray is angry we make up songs. Instead of "Mary had a Little Lamb" it's "Murray had a Trudy Pup." It goes into a musical saga of Murray and his sweet little puppy and their adventures. I cry every time it gets to "she followed him to school one day..." (which as you know isn't even very far into the song).

I'm already an emotional wreck about my little boy growing up. He's so sweet as a little newborn.

Just a Glipse

2011-03-16T19:16:00.005-05:00

Murray Lawrence Trunnell has arrived.

Born March 13 at 1:50pm.

Weighed 10 lbs. 2 oz. and measured 22 inches long.

Everyone is doing well and resting.

More pictures and tales of his birth to come. All you need to know is he is perfect.

15 Days Over and Counting

2011-03-11T22:11:00.002-06:00

Dear Baby,

These little mini-contractions you've been causing for the past 2 weeks are not the way to exit my uterus. You are going to have to come up with something better than that. It was cool at first to feel something and think I was in labor, but now it's just a mean trick.

I hope we see each other VERY soon,

Your mother

I'm starting to wonder if I'm really pregnant.

2011-03-08T16:27:00.002-06:00

Just who is that baby growing inside me? Is he a record setter? Does he want to set the longest record of being born past a due date?

Is he an attention seeker? Is he making us all wait because of some sort of plan to make a grand entrance?

Is he just lazy? I am sure its all comfortable and warm in my stretched (to the max) belly but he's got to know that he has to come out sometime.

Maybe he's just confused. Maybe he really doesn't know the way out.

Or maybe it's me. Maybe I'm stressing out too much and not sending the right hormones his way. But honestly how can I? I'm 12 days over my due date today (which I realize is a complete estimation in the first place). As much as I appreciate everyone's concern: no the baby's not coming today; no I don't know when the baby is coming; no I don't "feel" different (what the heck does that even mean?); no I am not going to share the details of my cervix with you; no I'm not harming my child by letting them continue to grow; and no I am not begging to be induced.

I think the only other people to understand this weird awkward waiting state are those who have experienced it. I want to be happy and excited for our baby's arrival. I want to smile and respond nicely to everyone's jokes and comments. I want to enjoy these last few days of having this giant belly I was always envious for. It's just getting hard to.

I know my body is preparing. I know my body is capable of labor because it has been capable of growing a baby in the first place. I know I am ready. But I'm not. But I am. But I think I am.

The last thing I want is to be induced. It's been the whole reason I chose the path of care that I did. Not that there's anything wrong with it... but from my research of it, it's something I really want to avoid. I don't want to rush the baby if he isn't ready. Obviously there's a reason he's not here yet, plain and simple. Even if it means that I am incredibly uncomfortable at the moment, I will bear it so that he can come when he's good and ready. And let's not all forget, that 42 weeks is still technically full-term for a baby to be born. I've had my non-stress tests, the baby is perfectly healthy.

This post may sound incredibly sappy and self-loathing, but I think I just needed to say it. Maybe it was the thing holding me back from going into labor. Basically, I want to talk about my labor and my baby, but it just might be better to ask me a few weeks from now, because right now it feels a little like all I hear is, "Oh my gosh how are you doing?" (where I instead mistakingly hear "Oh how are you doing dealing with your body failing you at the moment you expected it to perform like everyone else's?") I really do appreciate all the care and concern, don't get me wrong and know that I will not hold it against you if you ask.

I will get through this. My baby will be born soon and he will be cooked to perfection. And just you wait, because I am going to have the most amazing biceps from lifting the giant baby that is soon to be known as my son.

Still Only Two of Us

2011-02-27T22:45:00.003-06:00

We're a little over the due date, but there's still only two of us. I am fully confident that baby Trunnell will come when he is completely ready and probably exactly when I'm ready.

This weekend, I decided to resort to men's clothing. I haven't bought any maternity clothes (thanks to a few generous friends) and I don't intend on doing it now. So with the help of Adam's wardrobe I was able to find something to wear.

It worked well until I went out to eat some Mexican food with some friends and spilled all over the front of his shirt. My belly is so big that there's probably over a foot gap between my mouth and my plate. So I often have the problem of food falling off my fork before it reaches my mouth. Oh the amusing things of pregnancy.

I hope you all have a great week. I hope mine is eventful.

"So when's that baby coming?"

2011-02-17T21:47:00.002-06:00

So if I get this asked this question one more time I might just sigh in frustration and walk away. Like I really know when the baby's coming? I hope it's soon but if you are expecting an answer you may be disappointed. No sign of that baby yet but I know we're getting close. The bags are packed, we've got a list of things to take, and I feel mentally prepared. So let's get this thing going already!

We've added the last touches to the nursery (thanks to the ladies at my Baby Shower). We hung up the rain drop mobile tonight. It turned out so well!

and for your viewing pleasure.... A Room Tour of Little Baby Trunnell's room:

(Not that I'm advocating the necessity of having a baby room. He'll sleep in our room for a while, but it was important to me to get a space ready and finished for the future.)

Sources: gifts from others and repainted (dresser), gifts from others and used as is (Town print on shelf, crib), dumpster dive finds (green shelf), Urban Outfitters Couch (already owned), TJ Maxx lamp, Etsy for some prints, Baby Shower gifts (birds on shelf and raindrop mobile)

Handmade Items: pillows on couch, some prints above crib, curtains

Favorite Item in the Room: I really think the mobile completes it

Design Inspiration: I used what we had and just wanted a lot of fun colors. We painted the room when we moved in and I wasn't about to paint it again. I didn't go with a theme because I though I would be changing it in a year or so anyway.

Alright kid, let's do this in the next few days okay? I'm running out of shirts to cover my belly.

The man behind the camera. This is where Adam sits to take our weekly pictures. (Yes that's a toilet, and it just happens to be across from one of the only blank walls in our house, so don't judge.)

Random Headlines

2011-02-10T21:00:00.002-06:00

Two amusing news headlines I read at work today:

"Woman Sues Nutella for Deceptive Advertising": a woman claims that she has been eating and feeding her children Nutella for years because she thought it was a healthy food.

and

"Increase in Cosmetic Surgery Shows Economic Recovery": since more people are getting cosmetic surgery, it proves that once again the Recession is over!

February is Upon Us

2011-02-06T18:21:00.005-06:00

The last few weeks have been very exciting and we're looking forward to the next few with great anticipation. We are a little over two weeks out from our due date and SO ready for our new member of the family to make his arrival. We've made most of the final preparations. Adam surprised me by putting the car seat in the car (like a month ago). It was amusing to see his excitement about that. My friends threw me an AMAZING baby shower last weekend. It was so great to see friends I don't usually see and, in general, it's always fun to get a bunch of ladies together for lunch. Chelsea was so generous to organize the whole thing and she's always full of great ideas. Everything was adorable.

the invitations

the place settings

thirty people shoved into one room

amazing dessert and the hostess

we are pretty much set on everything we need... except diapers but who really wants to unwrap tons of those at a shower

the party favors- fabulous little orange cupcakes with mustaches on top

We've been trying to make it to our birthing classes at the Birth Center, but the snow keeps preventing class from happening. We joke that we are going to be having the baby and the teacher's going to have to be there giving us all the lessons at the same time.

The only things we really have left to do are:

get rid of our colds
pack a bag for us and baby
figure out what snacks I want during labor... it's hard for me to predict what I will want in an hour, so this task seems near impossible
finish my "laboring playlist"
keep the car full of gas
and pray that we don't get another blizzard to make our 30 minute drive to the Birthing Center harder than it needs to be
make a copy of our key for friends to let our dog out... and ask them for this favor as well

It feels like we are almost prepared.

And here we sit, while I continue to grow and Adam wishes he would grow just as fast. Our curiosity is just killing us. What will he look like and, the more frequent question (on my mind anyway), how much will he weigh?? If you haven't heard the story, Adam weighed in at 12 lbs and I was a fragile 9 lbs 2 oz. in comparison. So we were both very large babies. Any guesses what our child will weigh? I don't feel like I'm carrying a 9 pounder (or larger) but I guess we'll find out.

Maybe if I tell myself enough times that I love my dog I might believe it.

2011-01-27T12:36:00.009-06:00

Congratulations Trudy. You've officially chewed up the most expensive thing to date... our Digital Camera. Your timing is impeccable, right before we will be celebrating the most important event in our life- the birth of our child! I had no idea that a dog was capable of destroying a stainless steal camera in under in hour. Way to go... you've officially cost us ten times the amount of money it cost to buy you in the short course of only 2 years.

Some days I question owning a dog and the only benefit I see right now is:
1. if the heater broke I could use her to warm my bed
2. she cleans all the food off my floors
3. if my doorbell were to break I would never have to replace it
4. if i ever wanted to replant ALL my plants in the yard I would never have to dig them up myself
5. if I ever went blind and needed to know when I was about to pass a creepy person on the sidewalk, she would let me know by yanking me into the grass
6. if I ever had the desire to know when someone / something was walking down my street (a man, woman, child, rabbit, squirrel, frog, or mouse) I wouldn't have to wait by the window and watch for them because she finds it a priority to bark at the top of her lungs
7. if I ever wanted urine "piddles" all over my floor for decoration, I would never have to do it myself
8. if I ever want to get bathed in dog siliva, I wouldn't have to look far
9. she saves me from hiring an exterminator
10. she forces me daily to increase my patience

So if any of you have an old digital camera you want to sell, we are the ones to talk to.

And... consider yourself warned if you want to own a pet.

An Update

2011-01-25T12:43:00.003-06:00

It seems like we are doing lately is waiting around for something exciting to happen... and I'm wondering if I should be squeezing in anything that I'm not really going to be able to do in the next few months. I've made sure to sleep a little more than necessary, take more baths than necessary, and practice getting ready in under 30 min. Really I don't feel like I'm going to be missing out on anything, instead I am very excited to welcome all the new adventures into our lives.

We've been attending our birthing classes, which have been insightful. We've also done our share of reading and research so we feel adequately prepared. We get asked daily if "we are ready" for the baby to come. If he came early, of course we are ready. What more do you need than some clothes, diapers, and yourself to provide food? We've got the essentials... but I still waste plenty of lunch hours looking at cute baby brands. (I am secretly in love with this brand: Zutano).

I am just so grateful to have good friends around to help and offer their experience. I am grateful for friends that make life's events more beautiful (ahem, Baby Showers). I am so grateful to have family that is willing to travel just to lend a hand. I am so grateful all the support and excitement. It often feels overwhelming... and I'm not often the person that gets sappy about such things.

So here we are just waiting around for what's next. I don't think I've ever felt more hopeful in all my life. It's extremely exciting.

I will leave you with one thing today. This is very inspiring and worth watching. I hope to be a mother half as good as her. Stephanie Nielson speaking at BYU.

Cookies for a Cold Day

2011-01-20T19:45:00.004-06:00

At my Monday Night Doctor's appointment, my midwife recommend 3 ways to increase my iron levels in my daily diet. Luckily one of them was to eat an iron enriched Oatmeal Raisin Cookie everyday. Ummm... yes please.

Adam made these DELICIOUS Oatmeal Raisin cookies. Eighty percent of your daily iron in each serving! All you do is replace half the brown sugar with black strap molasses. They may look a little funky, but they taste divine.

Another reason why I love my midwife... and my husband.

That's it...

2011-01-10T19:39:00.002-06:00

So Adam and I like to watch documentaries and movies that expose the evil of big business and governmental lobbyists. Yeah, it's a weird interest of ours but I bet you can't find a legit reason to criticize it. We found another good documentary that we've been wanting to see for a while: Food Inc. It's definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it already. It talks about where our food is coming from and the lack of regulation for safe foods. It ends with a feel good song about how you can vote daily with the food you are eating.

It has solidified our dream that one day we will own some land and have a giant garden to feed our family. In the meantime, our goal for the year is to buy our staple foods Organic (bread, milk, eggs, cheese, meat, cereal and grains) when at all possible. I'm curious to see how much it actually ends up costing compared to our grocery bills now. I'm going to try to document it throughout the year as an experiment. I'm really looking forward to the Farmers Market now to buy real food that's actually in season!

Lawrence friends: do you know of other places you can buy local products around town besides the Merc or the Farmer's Market? Is it any cheaper to go to local farms to get products instead of Organic at the grocery store?

3 Years Ago...

2011-01-08T13:18:00.002-06:00

Adam and I were married on a freezing cold day in January- this day three years ago.

It's been the best adventure ever.

Time is Flying

2011-01-03T22:12:00.004-06:00

So there's a moment when you find out you're pregnant and you say to yourself "Wow, that due date is so far away, I don't even have to worry about it."

... And then my due date is next month and I don't know what to think.

At this point things are going really well with pregnancy. I've really enjoyed it so far. I'm at about 33 weeks and I'm just now starting to feel uncomfortable at night. I continually haul myself from side to side, trying not to stretch out my legs and feet in fear of them cramping up, and am constantly sweating. Oh, it's not as bad as it sounds.

I've recently filled a lot of my time reading books about... what other than... pregnancy and parenting. My two absolute favorites have been:

and

I am planning on having my baby at the Birth and Women's Center in Topeka. It's a free-standing birth center founded and endorsed by an Obstetrician, but follows a Mid-Wife led model of childbirth. I have been so impressed with the care I've received there and look forward to each appointment. Why have I chosen to have my baby at the Birthing Center you might ask?

I believe my body to be capable of bearing a child without medical intervention. Women have successfully been bearing children since the beginning of time and it seems only natural to me to trust the bodies that our Heavenly Father has given us. I look forward to how rewarding the experience of childbirth can be. I want to be empowered by enduring childbirth and meeting my baby as my reward. I also feel obligated as a woman, to know what that experience feels like without being hindered by any pain medication. I want to look my baby in the eyes and be completely aware of my surroundings so I can savor that moment. Not to mention, after much research I believe natural childbirth at a birthing center is the safest environment for my baby and me. And... I can't wait to give birth in a beautiful oak bed with the fireplace going, the lights dim, and my excitement building to meet my son.

In no way do I think all women should chose this method of childbirth, I am just happy that a place such as the Birthing Center exists for my own personal preferences.

Adam and I spent Christmas in Houston this year. It was great to visit family and get away for a bit. Last trip without a baby in tow...

I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year as well!

Awesome Tuesday Night Find

2010-12-07T23:10:00.003-06:00

I went through a phase where I was really into family history (it was my calling at church to help people with their family history). So maybe you won't be excited about this but I think it's an awesome idea:

This is a family tree. Someone finally thought of a cool way to display your genealogy besides on a tacky family quilt. You can find all their family trees here.

And that concludes my Tuesday night find.

Joys From the Weekend.

2010-12-05T18:06:00.005-06:00

Motherhood is blissful.

It's amazing that an experience in your life can bring you so much sustained joy. I can't say that everyday I feel great (in fact most are far from it), but I can say that I look forward to everyday knowing it is going to bring me more and more bliss- some new development, some new emotion I didn't know was buried within me, some new realization, a new bit of appreciation that I get to raise a child with my best friend. I'm most grateful for the opportunity to lend apart of me to be able to help my little boy develop.

And I just can't wait to see him.

So you always hear everyone tell you that "After you have a baby, you aren't going to have any time for yourself or your hobbies".... It's gotten me a little worried to be honest, even though I'm hopeful that I was always be the type to be making something. And, apparently that was enough motivation for me to get my blinds FINISHED! I don't know why I hadn't done it earlier because it didn't really take that long. Five sets of handmade roman shades officially done. The best part: I probably spent $40 for all five windows. The secret: using broadcloth. It's the cheapest fabric ever.

And on a side note, I was informed by a lady in the bathroom at Walmart that:

"Do you know how much having a baby is going to destroy your body?!"

It was one of the many humorous things I heard at Walmart on Saturday. I hope your weekend was enjoyable.

My dream house, Seriously

2010-11-23T20:59:00.004-06:00

Is it acceptable to be drooling over this house tour? It is the best one I've seen on Apartment Therapy.